Freedom!!!

Again, I'm rejoicing in the Lord's goodness to me and my family. A few days ago, I believe Sunday night, the Lord began yet another healing work in my life. This time it was not physical, but emotional.

Jon and I began talking once he was home from work. Out of no where I realized my struggles within myself were coming from a few childhood experiences I had. Though these experiences were never meant to hurt, but rather release, I still closed myself off to anything remotely related to that topic at hand. I never could have known that the wall I had been building slowly, but steadily, could impacted me so much later in my life.

A while back I began crying out to the Lord to show me why there was a barrier erected in that particular area of my life. I thought it was perhaps something I caused, or just needed to make a determination to get through. Perhaps the bane of all women and wives. I received no answer for a very long time, though I pestered God through my journal entries and disappointed prayers. I would often beg Jon to shed some spiritual insight on this area of my life where we were both heavily disappointed.

The Lord has been steadily working in my heart removing things in the way of freedom, joy and intimacy with him. I can't remember if I wrote about this dream earlier. But the Holy Spirit revealed to me in a dream that he was intending to rid me of insecurities (it was about that clear in the dream - word for word) if I would let him.

Slowly and surely the Lord has been doing this in my life. But, just as someone had prophesied over Jon and I earlier, the Lord completely broke down this wall of shame, bondage, and hopelessness. With a great gust of the Holy Spirit, the Lord leveled my great barrier!

Praise the Lord! He has delivered me into joy and freedom that I have never experienced. A joy to be myself, to enjoy everything I was made for, to be the exuberant woman he made me to be. This release has not only fallen on me, but brought a dynamic of freedom to Jon as well, and I believe overwhelming relief and thankfulness to his heart. The Lord has ministered to Jon's love language in a way I never could have.

I'm in the process of receiving the best Christmas present ever! In his faithfulness the Lord has started a work that I know he'll complete in my life. He won't abandon me to live as a prisoner of this world and the sinful reaction of my flesh. He has granted me freedom and released me to live a kingdom life here on earth- as it should be!

Praise the Lord, Oh my soul, and all that is within me will praise his holy name!