As the Fog Lifts

It seems there is a lot on my mind this morning. I'm sitting on our wood floor typing away to the sound of my son making those little waking up noises. I've never been one to say a prayer starting my day off. You know, how some people put their feet on the floor and immediately hand over their day? Or, so, some people say we ought to do? This morning was one of those times for me. On the outside I appear to remain relatively calm, but since the day I was informed of the nursing program orientation, my insides have been anything but still. To put it more clearly: I've been a nervous wreck. I set my alarm a whole hour and a half earlier before my arrival time. What if Levi woke up and I had to nurse him? My mind was racing with all the possibilities of what could make me late, or worse, miss the mandatory orientation all together! I made sure I would have time to stop and pick up coffee, any forms from my health care provider, and get dressed with reasonable sanity intact. I was 15 minutes early. But, the first thing I did after hitting the snooze button a few times was put my feet on the floor and put my worries in someone elses hands. I'm glad I did, because everything ran smooth and every problem fixed.

I feel a sort of serenity, a quiet peace in being the only one up. This is rare for me since I'm a night owl and have no desire most days to joint the morning doves. No thanks, I like my lazy mornings... sleeping in, waking up very gradually...coffee to eventually lift the morning fog. If the day is dreary in the morning, all the better! I used to be a go, go, go personality. But, I'm starting to realize the time I have to sit and think in the quietness is a gift. I can process my thoughts and truly be not so grizzly-ish when everyone opens their sleepy eyes.

Since I had the orientation early this morning I have the privilege of being up before Jon and Levi. I'm thinking about how much I enjoy the lack of chaos in my life. About the next semester and what that holds for me and my small family. Hoping I'll have enough of myself for both family and school. I'm thinking about the nomadic season of life we seem to be in and wondering for how long we will stay in our current "camp". Though I feel as if I've had a distant relationship with God the past week... more the idea of not seeing a family member for a time, I'm comforted to know he hasn't changed. I've bounced all over the board, emotionally speaking, but he's remained the same. Faithful.