For the Joy set before him endured the cross...

There are just some days where God really gives you something to hold on to. Today was one of those days. I went to small group, didn't feel anything on my heart too much...as I sat through small group and as we were praying for eachother, there was just a sense of "i want more, there is something missing..." I thought about asking for prayer before we started reading Captivating (by John and Staci Elderage), but it just didn't seem like the right time. So, I started to read...felt a little heart nudge, but kept on reading. Finally I got to the part of the story where God lavishes his love on Staci by giving her zillions of starfish on the beach. I read the next phrase and burst into tears (thankfully my sister in law took the book and kept reading).

It's a book worth reading, so I won't give the whole paragraph, but the sentence that caught me off guard.

"He (God) is an extravagant, abundant Lover, and he loves to reveal his heart to us again and again."

He took me back to Christmas where my brother in law gave his wife a bit of memory from her childhood, he lavished on her something she wouldn't have bought for herself....from there my mind went soaring to when Jon lavished his love on me through things I wouldv'e never expected nor bought for myself. All this time weeping, God brought my heart to a realization that he's been loving me extravagently through Jon, and that as he designed Jon loves me extravagently and with a depth that never hit me until now.

Later it also came to me that we are people formed in God's image and he puts into our hearts bits of who he is. Part of the depth of God's love is for women to desire extravagence and deep, passionate love. He pours into men the desire to lavish the extravagence of love on us (women) because that is who God is. I've often thought that God moves like that, but never felt the depth of it before.

Today, God gave me a gift, a hope to hang on to. A joy to grasp as I go through life, a restoration of peace that I've been robbed of. He restored my birthright. For the joy of the Lord is my strength.